The term toilet refers to a variety of organisms from the genus Cloacatious which are well known for having a highly complex digestive system. In fact it is so complicated that there is no need for any form of chemical breakdown of food. The more common species of Cloacatious include Cloacatious latrinous, Cloacatious toiletrious, Cloacatious wheredidmytoiletpapergonous as well as Cloacatious theflushisntworkingis. Toilets are widespread throughout the world, although many species have been domesticated. Archaeologists have reported uncovering a toilet fossil from the Roman era.
Classification
Toilets are mainly divided into two categories which have many subcategories. Over the past decades the classification of toilets has been a hot topic of debate amongst scientists, taxonomists and plumbers alike. However most people agree that toilets can be divided into two main categories, the Complexa family and the and the Anticomplexa family. The main distinguishing feature between these two families is the Complexa has more than two endomouthris while Anticomplexa has only one.
Anatomy
The brief anatomy of the a Cloacatious theflushisntworkingis.
- exomouthris - refers to the toilet door. Most have one.
- endomouthris - refers to the mechanism of waste disposal.
- sinkis - the salivary glands of the toilet, although studies have shown that it is as important as the appendix.
- papyrus - borrowed from British English, literally meaning paper. Papyrus is a waste product given out by the mouth of the toilet to attract prey. It appears that toilets have more papyrus in the mornings. No one knows why, but plumbers think it is because the cleaners (mundus toiletrious) only appear in mornings.
The endomouthris is the most complex part of the entire toilet. Studies have shown that the more complex the endomouthris is, the more likely the chance that the toilet would be caught, shipped to a city and installed in a compartment of a hotel where there is no need to hunt for prey because there is a continuous supply of them offering their shiny bottoms to the lucky organisms. The endomouthris in fact, has a few more parts to it:
- Toiletcapus - To ensure that what goes in does not come out should its inner salivary glands overreact.
- Toiletseatus - To hold the prey there longer. Homo sapiens are known to fall prey to the allure of toiletseati (plural).
- Thyflushbuttonus - Homo sapiens have been eaten for so long by the toilets (artifacts show as early as the stone age, where the less advanced Homos tend to slip into Cloacatious duginthefloorus while relieving themselves.) that they now form a symbiotic relationship with the toilets. This will be further explained later.
- Holus - Not to be confused with bolus which is sometimes used to refer to the source of nutrition of toilet species. Many biology teachers however use this to facilitate teaching in anatomy classes. Holus refers to the inner compartment of the main endomouthris. Veterinarians, I mean plumbers, often inspect this part of toilets to check its health. If the water level is too high it could mean that the salivary glands are overreacting. If it is too low it is dehydrated, a problem that is easily solved with the next visit of a Homo sapien. In the US, the WWF and the APS (American plumbing society) reported 6,000,000 cases of salivary gland malfunction in toilets in 2009, a disease that is currently classified as W.C.
- Ubendus - pronounced oo-ben-dus. It is the equivalent of the human intestines, shortened into a ceramic pipe.
History
Toilets have been around before humans (monkeys) roamed the Earth. They are elusive creatures, all hiding and living underground. In fact to this very day we can still find perhaps a Cloacatious duginthefloorus by digging anywhere in the ground. However it is illegal in most countries to do so, for fear that it may harm the creature.
Toilets also exist in all kinds of forests around the world. They form a symbiotic relationship with many plant and sometimes fungi species by providing them with food and nutrients. Recently toilets have formed another symbiotic relationship with the more advanced primates.
Perhaps the first man to discover the existence of toilets was Ug. Ug was an ordinary caveman from Jurassic Period. A NASA funded time-travel expedition to the period has allowed us to better understand toilets. "Ug ug ug ug ug ug" (my name is Ug) he said, waving that shiny club of his around. "Argh ug ug ug ug uga" (I need to find a toilet), he continued. NASA scientists were puzzled. He referred to "toilet" as a creature while the people of the 21st century call it a commodity. Ug then scampered off behind the bushes and groaning sounds could be heard. This has led to a new study on Jurassic nutrition. After that Ug appeared again hiding a stained leaf behind his back (Cloacatious species have not evolved the papyrus yet)...
To be continued
