Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Ok, so I know, some people won't find this story funny, maybe because they've read it or have a different sense of humour than mine (who found it funny) but I'm going to put it here anyway. (Please Note I did not copy/paste from the website. I wrote it out from the article sitting next to me)
Boy, does Santa have problems. Early this year, the American Medical Association released a study showing Santa's body mass index to be "dangerously high" at 30 percent (how the hell did they do this study?), which makes him obese. That puts him at high risk for a heart attack (which means that, really, he shoud not be flying at high altitudes).
And (never start a sentence with "and") British experts claim that Santa is a public health-hazard, promoting obesity and drink-driving. Images of a fat, jolly, and somewhat-tipsy father Christmas send out the wrong message and could damage millions of lives, they say.Instead of sitting back in his sleigh and breakign the speed limit, Santa should get off and walk or jog (across 72 million miles to deliver all his presents), Britain's The Press Association has reported, [...][as he] depicts a generally unhealthy lifestyle.
In Washington, Mr. Ernest Berger (Burger :) president of the volunteer group Santa America, wants his fellow members of the Claus family to give themselves the "Gift of Less Girth", calling it a matter of self-preservation that will also help children to whom Santa Claus is a roly-poly role model, said The Washington Post. [...]
There are those who protest against tinkering with Santa, a cherished cultural icon. But at least in Los Angeles, noted the post, one Hunky Santa - a chiselled, shirtless (in the middle of winter? Doesn't make a lot of sense, even when indoors) Claus alternative "reflecting LA's healthy lifestyle" - has managed to book a small gig this season (great, now you have a shirtless pedophile touching your children) Labels: wx's posts
